Association sport

The Football Association set to publish Arsenal celebration clause – Exclusive

Following the submission of formal complaints from a number of players, the FA are to hold an extraordinary committee meeting to bring about a change in the rules regarding celebrations.

My insider at FA headquarters managed to snap a picture of the agenda and faxed it to me this morning.

As chair, Prince William (a villain) passed the motion and Doreen (the housekeeper) seconded it.

The first complaint was received from an anonymous Wolves player (Reuben Neves – Whoops);

  • It’s not fair, they win the game and they celebrate with their fans. Who do they think they are? Anyone would think they had a bad start to the season and their manager installed a new sense of unity and fighting spirit. It’s scandalous.


The defining complaint came from a joint submission by an ex and a future ex-Villa player;

  • We know they overdid their celebrations, jumping around and handing out their shirts. Even the players who didn’t make the match day squad were there. It’s a disgusting image for the game and it needs to be stopped.


The FA is expected to pass the motion and Act 442.1 Section 7b will be revised to read as follows:

  • Arsenal should be instructed to leave the pitch instantly at the final whistle and if he doesn’t, Xhaka should be sent off and all borderline VAR decisions in his next EPL match go against him.…..

Wait, aren’t those the rules already?